LADIES FIRST
LADIES FIRST
I think more than ever this constant need for love and
attention is so prominent within society. Not only through social media but
within relationships. I believe the pressures put on relationships now are crazy. Relationships aren’t made to fill a void in your life or provide you
with happiness, they should just enhance it and add to your current situation. However,
some people would rather be in a bad relationship than be single because
they don’t think their life’s complete without a man or gal in it.
I blame rom-coms. When have you ever watched a film where the girl doesn't get the guy in the end...even in films like Bridget Jones and Angus thongs where it is meant to be about these 'failure' women films, they always get the bloody man. WHY ARE NO FILMS MADE WHERE THE GAL DITCHES THA MAN TO GO LIVE A HAPPY INDEPENDENT LIFE IN THE CITY.
Society makes out all girls need to preened, thin and gorgeous to feel happy within ourselves as if our whole existence revolves around the male gaze and objectification.
I'm one of the only gals
in my group who is single and so I’m less dependent on someone else for happiness in my life. I am not used to anyone telling me how to do things or depending
on me…..so for AGES I have been thinking I am an absolute wrongun and that I need
to change myself so boys would like me. I literally put effort
in with my makeup for like two weeks in an attempt to become this classic image that
girly girls possess. I then realised whoever would like me for those reasons
are obvs nothing like me and that novelty would fade off once I started wearing baggy trousers and bucket hats again….
I blame rom-coms. When have you ever watched a film where the girl doesn't get the guy in the end...even in films like Bridget Jones and Angus thongs where it is meant to be about these 'failure' women films, they always get the bloody man. WHY ARE NO FILMS MADE WHERE THE GAL DITCHES THA MAN TO GO LIVE A HAPPY INDEPENDENT LIFE IN THE CITY.
Society makes out all girls need to preened, thin and gorgeous to feel happy within ourselves as if our whole existence revolves around the male gaze and objectification.
WE ARE NOT HERE FOR MALE VIEWING PLEASURE ONLY.
Relationships are a key part of life, but I don’t know when
as a world we collectively accepted that it’s totally fine to give someone else
the remote control to our emotional states and depend on a significant other to
drive our decisions.
PSA- YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF
AS HAPPY OR AS UNHAPPY AS YOU WANT.
It is up to you how your life goes...don’t put that kind of pressure on someone
else. Don’t allow someone else to have power over how you feel on a day to day
basis. To put an expectation on someone else that their commitment to
you is a commitment to keep you in a constant state of happiness is unhealthy
and vice versa.
The expression ‘better
half’ when talking about your relationship is actually kind of sad. No person
is your other or better half. You are a complete human in
or out of a relationship. Don’t think yourself any lesser if you are on your
own and don’t let anyone else define you.
I guess my point is
you should take a minute and step back from your man/gal search. You have
friends/family and plenty of people to talk to, do things with, and be happy
around. You’re still loved and complete even if you’re single!!!
Especially if you
are young, enjoy life while you still don’t need to depend on someone else. I
used to feel so left out when all my friends would do couple stuff, but it is
not like I NEED a partner to live my best life. You only need to start worrying when you are 42, man-less and have more than 3 cats xx
I live by these rules when I question my lack of husbands x
1. Don't ever alter yourself to fit someone else's demands or taste.
Once you are happy within yourself it is then time to spread ur love far n wide!! Don't depend on others til you are independent and confident within yourself, cus if things go pete tong you still have your own self love.
2. put YOU first... you need to continue to love yourself throughout a relationship too, don't just rely on someone elses love as people are shits and they can let you down.
Do not question yourself when things go wrong, I always think things go wrong because something is wrong with me. I start thinking am I too fat, should I have better nails, should I wear more makeup, should I stop dressing like a 90s mom...no you defo shouldn't ! Most the time it's because the other person was unstable within themselves, other peoples negative opinions of you do not reflect badly on you, only on themselves.
3. There is no such thing as being too picky
We are literally so young so why waste yours or someone else’s time... it’s so much kinder in the long run to be picky.
Don't accept anyone into your life that doesn't make you burst with happiness, pride and excitement. Don't ever let some bog standard boy dictate your life and decisions because you feel obliged to deal with their shit, not today sis. If they aren't improving your quality of life, giving you butterflies and making you a better person, they probably won't be worth it in the long run.
4.Be comfy within your own skin, do not worry about how boys view you, the cool ones will like you for you anyway !!!
Don't feel like you have a constant job in fulfilling someone else's needs before your own. Never never never change for someone else, don't stop wearing things because they 'dont like it when you wear that' or don't pretend to be something you are not ....because eventually looks will fade and you will be left with just their shitty personality and lots of hatred x
I live by these rules when I question my lack of husbands x
1. Don't ever alter yourself to fit someone else's demands or taste.
Once you are happy within yourself it is then time to spread ur love far n wide!! Don't depend on others til you are independent and confident within yourself, cus if things go pete tong you still have your own self love.
2. put YOU first... you need to continue to love yourself throughout a relationship too, don't just rely on someone elses love as people are shits and they can let you down.
Do not question yourself when things go wrong, I always think things go wrong because something is wrong with me. I start thinking am I too fat, should I have better nails, should I wear more makeup, should I stop dressing like a 90s mom...no you defo shouldn't ! Most the time it's because the other person was unstable within themselves, other peoples negative opinions of you do not reflect badly on you, only on themselves.
3. There is no such thing as being too picky
We are literally so young so why waste yours or someone else’s time... it’s so much kinder in the long run to be picky.
Don't accept anyone into your life that doesn't make you burst with happiness, pride and excitement. Don't ever let some bog standard boy dictate your life and decisions because you feel obliged to deal with their shit, not today sis. If they aren't improving your quality of life, giving you butterflies and making you a better person, they probably won't be worth it in the long run.
4.Be comfy within your own skin, do not worry about how boys view you, the cool ones will like you for you anyway !!!
Don't feel like you have a constant job in fulfilling someone else's needs before your own. Never never never change for someone else, don't stop wearing things because they 'dont like it when you wear that' or don't pretend to be something you are not ....because eventually looks will fade and you will be left with just their shitty personality and lots of hatred x
Depending on someone else for your own happiness is such a dangerous game but is always going to happen throughout life. I guess what I am saying is don't panic if you haven't had loads of long term boyfriends and exs yet, its probably a good reflection on you that you haven't got tonnes of failed relationships under your belt before you are 21 x or that is what I tell myself anyway xx
Basically don't let boyfriends define you and your decisions, you are a strong independent gal with or without a Mr !!!
Basically don't let boyfriends define you and your decisions, you are a strong independent gal with or without a Mr !!!
