SELF LOVE 2.0

I feel like the last time I spoke about self-love I didn’t mean it. I was still very insecure and unhappy with myself at that time. I am the worst for not practising what I preach, and I’ll admit that. Self-love is branded as face packs and you time when really there is a lot of self-actualisation involved.

Since Christmas I had some mad epiphany about what life’s about. I went into the new year with non-materialistic and less self-obsessed resolutions. Usually mine involve going to gym, eating no calories and being prettier. This year my resolutions were all based on improving my life and making more time for others. Being more selfless, spending money on memories instead of materialistic possessions and brands etc. I can for the first time say I am happy being me, I like my curves, my huge brows and hairy stupid arms that I’ve always worried about. Life is so intense as it is, you don’t need to be putting extra pressure on yourself to impress people who wont even notice or matter to you in two years’ time.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. There will always be prettier, skinnier, sportier people etc. I am not sporty, athletic, I’m articulate but not someone who thrives within education and working…and I’ve accepted that. You may be prettier than me but I’d debate you to the ground and pull a better dress up costume out the bag so piss off x

Make more time for nature, culture, art and films. Its so easy to get lost in social media. I say it a lot but if you are going to spend time looking at a screen make it productive. I have so much time for literature and films. They uplift you and leave you feeling emotions (unlike Instagram). Films are my safe haven, I know the best one for every mood so actually message me if you need inspo cus I got you.

Art, books and music are another beautiful thing which have taught me to love myself and life. When I have had a little cry the first thing I do is stick on Destiny’s Child and remember who the fuck I am. I got this.

There are some incredible people out there, make time to hear their stories and appreciate their art.

I am also spending 20 mins a day on Duolingo teaching myself French again just to feel a little bit productive if I have had a down day where even getting dressed seemed too hard (which has been a lot recently).

Aesthetically, by all means pamper yourself. I do feel so much prettier with lashes, nails, curled hair etc but don’t think you need them all to be your best self. I have accepted myself natural and you will see me scruffy far more than done up these days. I like to treat myself to a tan or nails when I need a little boost, but I will also rock no makeup and a messy bun to uni with no troubles.

When discussing achieving true self love, I am going to confuse you all by saying experiment.

The only reason I now love natural me is because I have tried all other alternatives and realised natural me is the best. But I encourage trying different hair colours, styles, looks, because you need to get it out your system. Since going blonde (which all brunettes must try once in their life) I now appreciate and love my natural dark hair and never want to touch it again, without changing and experimenting I wouldn’t have appreciated what I already had and would’ve still been complaining about it.

In terms of style, I used to buy branded clothes a lot more and probably to impress people who I now think are so cringe. Don’t feel suffocated by society and what is ‘seen to be cool’. Unbranded stuff is way cooler to me now, I still have branded stuff but don’t feel like you need it to be fashionable. There’s so much pressure for boys and gals to have the newest creps and clothes when a pair of converse go a long way in my eyes. I don’t care at all for cool new trainers and newest Nikes etc as I am ultimate dad crep queen but that’s just me, but I’m happy I don’t care about trainers cus that’s another thing I’d be spending money on lol xx

Putting others before myself also makes me love myself more. When I’m in bed I sometimes think about how I’ve been a good friend or shoulder to cry on and think how much better it is to be loved than fancied. You can be the coolest prettiest cat but have nobody lean on you when they need a friend. Being needed by people I love makes me so happy as it means I’m doing something right. I almost feel special when people I love message me just to check up on me or to ask for a chat, knowing people care and miss you is so nice and more fulfilling than a like on an Instagram post.

Another thing I've learnt is that being more selfless can suck.

Most people don't put others before themselves, so in doing that you can feel let down and unappreciated when people don't do the same for you. I would literally do anything for people I love and so often people wont do the same for you or even notice the efforts you go to to make them happy. But don't let that stop YOU from being a good person/friend because you may think it goes unappreciated and sometimes in life you will do things that wont get any recognition.... but in a weird way that almost makes if more impressive as that's as selfless as you can get. Continue going out your way to make yourself and your loved ones happy, fuck the ones who don't check up on you, they aren't worth your precious seconds.

Make time for yourself, your curves, your skin, your sleeping routine, your friends, your family. There is so much more to life than your little bubble (which can seem so suffocating at uni). Go explore, spend money on experiences, memories, festivals, holidays; those memories will go a lot further than that £150 pair of shoes you wanna cop.


Rant ova, love yoself