Lies Behind The Pearls: The Femboy Epidemic
I feel like you have to be proactive with dating, especially in London when you are such a tiny tiny fish in a fat pond. Meeting people naturally is kinda retro concept so it is almost essential you at least see what’s knocking about online.
To my horror, not much is knocking about. You maybe see one or two people you would genuinely approach out of every 150 swipes (not even being dramatic). You then have a 5% chance you are even their type and they would wanna match you back.
Jumping over these above hoops should be bush bash bosh but the reality is you end up in a cycle of self doubt and zero gratification.
As ridiculous and petty as it sounds, dating apps always seem to find ways to make you doubt yourself and compare yourself to others. When you are being judged (and judging others) off 5 photos and a couple of prompts, it really isn’t reflective of you or your personality, yet it feels like a little kick in the ankle everytime you get ignored. The stupid part is- you also ignore messages, but when it happens to you, it manifests you to end up thinking u a losssserr
The truth is, it’s an endless cycle of lame for everyone involved and having the stamina and energy to even swipe is impressive. Sometimes I’m just sat there thinking I’m asexual as fuck.
But there is one true epidemic which needs to be mentioned…the femboy. Tailored to the female gaze through trial and error. Pearls n all.
Like a lot of people, I am easily pleased by a boy who is in touch with his feminine side. Masculinity and testosterone are the two dominant strains I look to avoid in life. A badly painted nail, a dangly earring, perhaps a crystal in the pocket and have the co-star app…the short-cuts to my heart. I honestly think I just love traditionally femme things, but for boys to be secure enough within themselves to experiment, it’s hot. Also, if they say the words clothes swap, I am instantly back in the room.
I love the yes people. Can I do your makeup? Yeah alright. Can we do facepacks? Shall we dye your hair?
At this point, I’m pretty much in your safe, tiny tattooed palms, except the fact they are actually about to be the worst human you will ever meet.
Be careful gorls - just like that, they capture you with their birth chart, openness and confidence, but they actually are pulling the pearl detailed lace over your eyes.
Then you realise, they’ve done this a lot, they’ve done their research and they know what works. They have watched so many girls say “omg you’re a Libra, I LOVE libras” then they run home and learn all they can about their sign, ready to spew to the next date. It’s an instant beat if they know their birth time.
I’ve noticed this so many times, with things I’ve been told on first dates (little hooks to make you think they are alright) and then a few dates in you realise that was the biggest pile of shit. They absolutely hate star-signs, love Joe rogan and have meat with every single meal and would never be seen dead in a knitted vest.
It’s giving Kyle from Ladybird. Hot as fuck from a hinge profile but cosplaying someone a lot softer than they really are to gain trust.
The rise of the Femboy is partially down to tiktok, which catapults the 5% of boys who know the ultimate BDE is to do what most boys wouldn't do, play with your fluidity and put on a skirt. Suddenly that's a free pass to our side of the camp.
You see it a lot with mainstream celebrities who have stylists trying to change their brand, audience or reputation (cough Harry Styles) the softer the appear the more they can get away with.
Moral of the story is: there is a very sinister segment who capture our hearts with false promises of being a drag race fan and loving Glee, just so you will shag them. Ask them their favourite snatch game and wait for the eyes to glaze over 💅🏻
