SOCIAL MEDIA AND SELF LOVE

SOCIAL MEDIA AND SELF LOVE

The first thing to realise when using social media is that it seems like everyone has it all together, and they don’t.

 I read an article about a phenomenon called “duck syndrome”. This refers to the way a duck effortlessly glides along the water so gracefully, when in reality their lil legs are frantically trying to stay afloat. I think this is an applicable metaphor to apply to social media.
We forget that people only choose to broadcast the positive highlights of their lives, creating an unrealistic standard for others to live by. It is like a constant race up the social ladder by showing off your money, body or clothes in order to gain popularity. When in reality we all have shit days, but these fail to make it to Instagram. People are then led to believe that their issues don’t happen to anyone else and their lives are substandard compared to Alexis fuckin Ren.

The constant flow of tanned, skinny, beautiful girls eating fruit on the beach is so damaging to your self-esteem. However, what people don’t realise is that this group of perfect Instagram models are actually a minority within society. Yet these are the ones we choose to torture ourselves with, by flooding our screens with their skeletal physique. As amazing as these girls are, they set an unrealistic life goal for teenagers who think their lives are lacking because they aren’t on a beach in Bali. Realistically, we are all sat in bed looking down these pages and there’s only a few hundred girls that actually lead this life. It is not surprising that 60% of people have admitted social media has a negative impact on their self-esteem and this is completely understandable, we bring it on ourselves subconsciously.  

Selfies become less about updating others on how you look and more about vanity validation. Instead of posting a picture because YOU think you look good in it, people post them to see if they can get more likes than last time. One of the worst things for me is seeing someone deleting their post “because it didn’t get enough likes”. GURL YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS FOR VALIDATION, YOU ARE POSTING IT BECAUSE YOU LOOK GOOD AND YOU KNOW IT! FUCK WHO ELSE AGREES.

I also hate this “peak time” phenomenon. Posting a picture at 8pm because that’s when most people will see it… This is just so damaging to your confidence, living your life by others opinions of you!

However this constant need for attention and likes leads down a dangerous road, especially for us gals. You start seeing girls getting more and more scandalous with their outfits/nudity, some claim it’s for the whole body posi movement, others are blatantly doing it for male attention. There is no right or wrong and both are fine, but I started to realise that if I have to show more boob for the attention of a boy, he aint the one! Fuck being known for the wrong reasons, instead of being known for your style, intelligence or achievements, you are known as so and so with the good bum. Promote your brain sis! Show it off instead of posting pics that will impress the boy you fancy this week!!

Instead of posting unrealistic pictures of yourself, trying posting a bare faced one and you will feel so empowered when people say nice things and respond. Instead of only following this minority of vegan size 6 models, follow some plus size gals, follow some charities, open your mind and social media will become a tool for learning and not just a way to mentally beat yourself up. 

Fave insta plus size prin @barbienox